Monday, April 18, 2005

Asian Fascination Claims Another Victim

i have been lusting after CrushBoy for MONTHS now. it's hardcore lust. i look at him and i just want to jump on him and shimmy my way to the top. but alas, i fear i have as much chance with him as monica lewinsky has of ever being able to smoke a cigar in public without getting heckled.

see, he has made more than one comment that leads me to believe he only goes for asian chicks. and i ain't asian.

it's a frighteningly common condition. every girl i know, myself included, has been dumped for the asian chick at least once. i have asked my male friends about this. what's the appeal?

always the same answer, "they're kinky."

"kinky how?"

"they're just kinky. they do things other girls won't."

and that's all they will say.

so, let's examine this. my girlfriends and i are excruciatingly honest with each other. (yes fellas, size does matter. and we describe it in detail to each other. deal with it.) so, i know what my girls and i will and won't do. and i have to say, we are some pretty slutty girls.

which leads me to the inevitable conclusion....asian chicks are taking it up the ass.

seriously, that's the only thing we don't do. we have tried it and HATED it. guys tell us to relax and it won't hurt. that level of relaxation can only be acheived with horse tranquilizers. and personally, i don't want to participate in any sexual act that requires general anethsia.

that's got to be it. because i look at asian chicks and i don't see where they are any prettier than white girls, mexican girls, black girls, etc..

actually, i think their body type might have something to do with it, too. generally, they have no tits, no ass and no hips. their physique is that of a 12 year old boy.

so, all these guys are lusting after these little boy bodies and they want to fuck them in the ass. that's my theory, and i'm sticking to it.

no, i'm not bitter. i swear.