Wednesday, May 18, 2005

My Current Addictions, Because I Know You Care

Things I Can't Live Without

*diet vanilla coke

*marlboro reds

*Chipotle's roasted corn salsa - what do they put in that stuff? crack? i could eat it by the bucketload. watch me.

*john mayer - i can't talk about him too long without getting totally pornographic. let's just say it all goes back to my forearm fetish.

*Three Olives Cherry Vodka - and on the seventh day, god said, "and let there be flavored vodka." they left that out of the king james version.

*TiVo - seriously, i never thought a damn DVR would change my life. the problem is now i find myself wanting to rewind other parts of my life, not just live tv. i can be driving along with the radio on and kind of zone out for a few minutes. but, really, i'm a good driver. no, really. then i find myself reaching for the nonexistant remote control so i can rewind the radio.

*john mayer - any man that hot deserves two mentions on this list. i mean, have you SEEN his forearms??!!??

*good yarn - if my house were on fire, i would grab the dog and my yarn and my knitting needles. hell, i probably have about 10 grand worth of yarn in my house. none of that cheap ass Red Heart yarn for me. oh no, i am a total yarn ho. imported from england or japan? oh, i am so there. i really need a cheaper hobby. why couldn't i have taken up bird watching?

*dooce.com - i get real antsy without my daily dose of chuck and leta. will someone PLEASE tell heather that her habit of not posting on weekends really pisses me off?

*reality tv - big brother, amazing race, real world/road rules challenge. oh, how do i love thee? let me count the ways. the escaped mental patients that make up these casts are my reason for breathing. the evil dr. will shall forever be my hero. he was lying, cheating scum. he told his housemates, "i will lie right to your face. i will stab you in the back." but everyone still believed him when he said, "oh no, i would never vote you off. i've got your back." oh, it was sheer genius. and now, we have manna from the heavens in the form of britney and the sperminator's new series. after i watched it, i said to god, "you like me. YOU REALLY LIKE ME!"

*john mayer - no, i'm not obssessed. why do you ask?

*my iPod - it's my own little, silver miracle. i mean, it's so TINY! how does it hold so many songs. it just boggles my vodka addled brain.

*the rabbit - girls, you know what i am talking about. god bless japanese innovation.

*"a prayer for owen meany" - if you didn't just love this book more than life itself, you are dead to me. dead.

*ticketmaster.com - i have not had to stand in a wristband line for about 5 years, and for that, i am forever grateful. because i ALWAYS get totally screwed on the whole wristband deal. i pull out number 12. and then the manager of Tower Records (and you always knew he was the manager because he had the NICER red vest) comes out and announces, "we will be starting with number 14! please line up accordingly." then there's me, screaming, "motherFUCKER!"

*my kodak easy share camera - 6.1 megapixels, BABY! now all my friend's drunken debauchery can be captured in razor sharp detail. on my last vacation, i took 158 photos. all of them were taken in the bar. it looks like i spent 5 days straight in the hilton bar. well, i guess i kind of did.