Thursday, May 05, 2005

My Secret Shame

in person, i come across as oh-so hip and ironic. my converstaions are peppered with references to nerve.com and Bust magazine. i'm edgy and i know it. i look down my nose on "mainstream" movies (you should hear my rant on action movies, it's really fucking brilliant. maybe tomorrow.), pop music and bestselling books.

if someone asks me if i watch "The O.C." i throw them a look that could sterilize a catholic bride and answer ever so disdainfully, "sorry, but i don't watch CRAP." then i roll my eyes so hard i am in danger of detaching a retina.

oh, but if only my Tivo could talk. i would be so busted.

i didn't want to watch it and i certainly didn't want to like it. the first season of "The O.C." i stayed strong and i resisted it's overly dramatic, lushly landscaped temptations. but the lure of teen angst drama was too strong. this season,i "accidentally" watched the season premiere. and i haven't missed an episode since. god help me, it's like a drug. marissa's ill fated foray into sapphic love, i was there. summer dumping zach at airport when she realized she still loved cohen, i was there. even the god awful 'risky business' auction episode, yes, i am ashamed to admit, i was there.

but really, how long was i expected to abstain? i am a sucker for all things teen angst. my fave movies are made by john hughes and if megan mccafferty doesn't release that third jessica darling (the teen heroine and NOT the porn star, FYI) novel REALLY.FUCKING.SOON. i am just going to die. do you hear me? i will die!

i have watched "my so called life" on DVD so many times i can quote dialogue and episode names. but god, don't you just love it in "self esteem" when jordan realizes that he DOES love angela, and then he goes to her locker, and then they are walking down the hall together, and then he holds her hand?!?!?!? my heart skips a beat every time. every single time.

and don't even get me started on 'degrassi.' and by the way, when did emma become such a whore? our little peace loving, petition circulating, protesting little hippie girl. now she's like queen slut. she's going to make manny look like a nun. sheesh.

so, now you know. i'm a fraud. please don't hate me. and whatever you do, don't take away my judy blume books. because i still love them.