Wednesday, June 01, 2005

ABunchOfFuckingIdiots.Com

call me unhip. call me uncool. call me an old lady. i don't care. i have embraced my inner senior citizen and i have named her Edna. because i just have to say that i think myspace.com is just about the stupidest fucking web site in the world. it is fucked up on so many levels. what is the point of it? some people say "friendship." well, i've got friends and they know how to email or call me. and they certainly don't need to see pictures of me. they know what i look like. and they already know my favorite books, bands and movies.

some say they are there for "networking." my definition of networking is making contacts that can further your career. i have yet to hear anyone say, "oh, i got my last job because the head of HR saw me on myspace. he really liked the picture of me flashing my boobs best of all." unless they work in a titty bar. then it's a whole different story, i guess.

and if they are on there for dating, go to eHarmony and find your perfect match. guaranteed.

i have seen a lot of people's pages on myspace and the stuff they put on there just boggles my mind. do you really want the whole world to know that you are an idiot? i saw one chick's profile and under favorite books she listed "n/a" Dear.God.In.Heaven. Not Applicable. She's not even bright enough to lie and just list some bullshit book she was forced to read in high school. and her favorite movies? the cinematic masterpieces that touch her soul? how to lose a guy in 10 days and serendipity. i'm just POSITIVE she is a rhodes scholar. i am sure of it!

and the pictures that these people post of themselves? first of all, if you expect me to believe those pics are real, then tell me more about that swampland you got for sale. because i have traveled all over this country and 99% of america's population is just flat out butt ugly. but somehow, on myspace, everyone has the body of a swimsuit model. hhmmm, wonder how that is? and then, on the flip side, i look at other photos and think, "this is the best pic you have of yourself?" because if i am going to put my pic online for the whole world to see, you can bet it's going to be a good one. it would be the one of me in the pink blouse holding the purple bunny statue and NOT the one where i look like jabba the hutt's uglier sister. but that's just me.

and what is the psychological payoff of the "friends list?" just to make you THINK you are popular? i saw one profile that had almost 500 friends listed. no body knows that many people. and if you did, how the hell would you keep all their names stright? there are only so many names in the world. "Samantha47, meet Dave89. He's friends with Brandy61. You know Brandy61. No, the girl with the overbite and the small nose is Brandy62! Brandy61 is the girl that slept with Roger56 and Johnathan39! Got it? Good."

eck, maybe i'm just getting old. but i really just don't understand kids today. pass the prunes.