Tuesday, July 12, 2005

Judy Blume Never Covered This

apparently, i come from a long line of early developing, big boobed she women. of course, you would not know this to look at me. i didn't get my boobs until high school. all the other women in my family started their periods at age 8 or 9. so, as a pre-emptive strike, mom gave me "the talk" when i was 8 years old. she explained what i could expect and showed me how to use a maxi pad. well, Little Miss Late Bloomer Jelly didn't get her first period until she was 13 years old.

so, there i am, age 13, not shocked, but a little surprised. i was calm because i figured i knew what to do. it happened during school hours, so i got my dime (yes, back then, they were only a dime in the vending machines), went to bathroom, and bought a pad out of the machine and took care of business.

flash forward about 4 hours. i knew it was time to "change the pad." (god, is there a grosser sentence than that?) i go to the bathroom, and quickly yank the pad away.

*insert scream of bloody murder* (no pun intended)

i had stuck the pad to MYSELF and NOT to my panties. that was my first at home bikini wax.

i have gotten better at it since then.