Saturday, August 20, 2005

I Could Be A Stripper! Who Knew?

so, i went shopping with my friend, lauren, today. i am not good at adding the links in the posts, but she is The Adnostic and you can click on the link to the left to read her. she's awesome.

first stop, Sephora. god, they now officially have ALL my money. i only bought two things, and one was an actual necessity. not too bad. while perusing every single aisle (is there any other way to shop at Sephora?) we came to the Jessica Simpson Dessert line of products. she hocks something called Belly Button Gloss. i was never bothered by the matte finish of my belly button. should i be? have i ever looked in the mirror and asked myself, "self, is my belly button glossy enough? if ONLY there was a candy scented product to gloss my belly button!" our prayers have been answered by Jessica. gloss away, gals, gloss away!

next stop, Victoria's Secret. i love panties and buy them compulsively (7 pairs in the last 3 days) but i just can't bring myself to buy panties with a keyhole right above the ass crack. i don't need a bullseye there, thankyouverymuch.

on to Bloomingdales for more bra and panty shopping. behind the register is huge wall of nothing but thong panties and the word "THONGS" above it. ah yes, the infamous Wall of Thongs. the women's magazines are always telling you to get professionally fitted for bras because 90% of us are wearing the wrong size. so, we ask the sales girl to measure us.

now, depending on the brand, i can comfortably wear a 34 or 36C. works for me, but just wanted to get measured out of curiosity. so, um, yeah, acording to this chick i am a 36EE. nope, not a typo. 36EE. what the fuck? if my boobs were that big, they would need their own zip code. i never see that size in stores. maybe it was her last day at work and was just intentionally fucking with people.

well, it's getting late, so me and my 36EE boobs are signing off.