Monday, October 03, 2005

And The Dumbass I Will Be Making Fun of Today, Well, That Would Be Me

you always hear how a true genius can solve a quantun physics equation in 2.8 seconds, yet the same person can be so totally absent-minded that they forget to wear underwear. i think i am that kind of person. well, that's my story and i am sticking to it. genius in so many ways, yet unable to operate machinery without adult supervision.

last friday, i went to Bath & Body Works, also known as the poor woman's Sephora. i "found" a new scent that i fell in love with and immediately purchased the shower gel, body lotion, body splash and tube of body cream. or, so i thought. i buy the lotion to keep in the bathroom for after shower use and the cream i keep on my nightstand for nighttime hand and feet application. i loved this scent so much, that as soon as i got home i took a shower just so i could use all my new products and go to bed smelling mega yummy. before i went to bed, i slathered the cream on my feet and noticied that it felt kind of sticky. but i just shrugged it off and went to bed.

the next night, i was telling my friend, kate, about this great new scent from B&BW. i grabbed the tube of body cream so that i could tell her the exact name. when i told her the scent was Cotton Blossom, she laughed her ass off and proceeded to tell me that i had indeed smelled it before. in fact, it was when she and i went on vacation together back in March. maybe the fact that i was sidewalk licking drunk the whole vacation is why i have no recollection of ever having seen this stuff.

to futher compound my stupidity, as we were laughing at me, i looked at the tube again and realized it was NOT body cream. it was body wash. i had slathered body wash on my feet the night before and happily gone to sleep. i tend to sweat while i sleep (i'm painting a sexy, sexy picture, aren't i?) god knows, my feet probably lathered up in the middle of the night and i slept right thru it.

how i manage to walk and chew gum at the same time is nothing short of miraculous.