Thursday, October 27, 2005

I Love All Animals, Except For One

some friends of ours are on vacation this week, so i have been going to their house on my lunch hour and walking their dog. i love this dog and threaten to dognap her everytime i see her. Patches is the sweetest, cutest wiggle butt-ed dog in the world. don't tell my pups i said that, but it's true.

Example
how can you NOT love that face? i mean, really.

when her owners come back from their cruise, i already have my story planned. "well, gosh, i don't know what happened. she just got away from me and i never saw her again. {insert sob} oh, and on a side note, you can never come to my house again, either." i have already started practicing my "innocent and bewildered face" in the mirror. i think they are totally going to buy my story.

then, at the other end of the spectrum, is their cat, Woody. this cat scares the bejesus out me. he hisses at me constantly and the look in his eyes says, "let me feast on the tender flesh of your neck."




Example
see? i'm right, aren't i? that is the face of evil.



Example
this is what he looks like most of the time. bloodthirsty and ready to kill.



what scares me most is when he "purrs" and rubs up against my legs. i scream like a little girl and jump about 3 feet into the air when he does that. he is a furry little terrorist and i am wholly convinced he lays awake nights plotting WWIII.

normally, i love all animals and they love me. introduce me to a snarling 150 pound rottweiler, and within 5 minutes he will be my new best friend and will be on his back getting a belly rub. but Woody, well, he's satan and if there's one thing i learned in catholic school, it was to never make friends with the devil. because he will steal your soul. and so will Woody.