Sunday, January 08, 2006

I Love My THING! Don't You Love My THING?

i was gonna make this long story short, but fuck it, i am feeling verbose.

this afternoon, i went to brunch with my mom and her best friend, Carolyn. it was the champagne brunch at Acapulco. seeing as i was driving, i didn't imbibe, but they did. they had nice buzzes and we were all laughing and having a good time. we do love our champagne brunches around here.

we left the restaurant and were headed to our next destination. merrily driving down ventura blvd, i spotted some fire trucks coming our way, so i stopped. the lady behind me did not and she slammed right into my car. my mom jumped out of my car so fast i thought she was gonna go back there and beat the shit out of this woman. don't fuck with MamaJelly and you REALLY don't fuck with her kids. i thought, "oh god, mom's drunk on a sunday afternoon and she's gonna get into a brawl in the middle of the street."

luckily, she was just getting out to stop traffic in the other lanes so we could all pull into a gas station and do the info exchange. so we do all that, blah, blah, blah.

needless to say, i was not in the mood to go shopping, so we just headed for home. i don't know about you, but getting slammed by a Ford Focus kind of sucks the fun out of the rest of the afternoon for me.

on the way home, we passed by a strip mall that we never go to. just one of those generic, 7/11-Indian Spices-98Cent Mart-Video Store type malls. we always say we are going to stop and check out the Indian place, but we never do. i was feeling whimsical, so i said, "fuck it. we're going in."

first we went to the 98Cent Mart, because those places are always good for a few whacky products. they did not disappoint today.

Example

ok, so i really suck at taking photos, but the package reads, "Bath Massage Thing - The health care thing steps into a new century." it's a sponge, people. no, i am sorry, it is my bath massage thing. i LOVE products made in China!

then we traipse off to the Indian Spice place. they had tons of authentic, unidentifiable Indian foods and spices and condiments. the jar of clarified butter was a little scary, but otherwise, the place was pretty interesting.

then i found the "authentic" Indian breads.


Example

yes, that is the Pillsbury DoughBoy. authentic Indian cusine meets American frozen food convenience.


Example

and it comes in poppin' fresh varieties, too.

i also bought some curry flavored top ramen. it is honest to goodness top ramen. just further proof that every culture has slack ass/can't cook for shit/kitchen retards like myself.