Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Country CrapFest

i am generally not a fan of country music. however, i do like garth brooks and a few songs of reba's. and THAT IS IT. the rest is just twangy, schmaltzy, emotionally manipulative CRAP. absolute crap. when i die and go to hell, my iPod will only play Patsy Cline. that is going to be my punishment for making fun of fat girls in skinny clothes. and i am prepared for that.

the other day, i was channel surfing and came across the Country Music network. now, i would not even have known this channel part of my cable package, but they had a show with John Mayer on it and my Tivo picked it up. good Tivo. good Tivo.

i saw a video by a "band" called Rascal Flatts. i think the song was called "Skin" but i don't care enough to google it and find out for sure. now, country music videos have ZERO imagination and they merely recreate the song. yawn. this one in particular was especially nauseating. the song is about a young girl that gets cancer, loses her hair and dreams of going to her prom. i have seen Lifetime movies with more depth than this shit. in the video we see the girl get the diagnosis, lose her hair and then her prom date picks her up and he has shaved his head in solidarity with her so she will not feel so awkward.

now, one of the many, many problems i had with this video was how they depicted the girl. she looked exactly the same at the beginning as she did at the end, only bald. they did not even try to make her look sicker, thinner, etc... basically, she looked like a bald female beach volleyball player. it's like they want to tug at your heartstrings, but in too realistic a way, because apparently, THAT would be a buzzkill. it was so fucking stupid it put me right off my Hot Pocket.

further viewing of this network lead to further bullshit. these country music stars try oh so hard to depict a "i'm just a down to earth good ol' boy" image. they are all about the "i am just like you, america." illusion. dude, you make 45 gazillion dollars a year. i am guessing you have not scrubbed your own toilet in 12 years. shut the hell up and let me get back to clipping Lean Cuisine coupons.

the heart of america, my ass.