Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Hi, My Name is Jelly and my Mom Thinks I Am an Alcoholic

i will freely admit that i have one, sometimes two, drink(s) at night before i go to bed. it's to keep my heart healthy, you know. really. that and i have an unnatural love of Stoli Vanil vodka. i mean, have you tasted this stuff? it's like happy in a bottle.

i also have a large Big Gulp type cup that i fill with regular diet coke. i need the caffeine to sleep. i drink so much diet coke all day long that another 44 ounces at bedtime has zero effect on me. the kidney stones make a lot more sense now, don't they?

but, my drinks i make in a regular size drinking cup. so, every night i am juggling two cups. the mondo sized diet coke and the NORMAL sized cup for my tipple.

the other night, i was filling the 44 ouncer and pulled a classic butter finger move and spilled the whole damn thing all over the kitchen counter. huge mess. as i was mopping it up, my mom asked, "did that have booze in it?"

so, mom thinks i am filling the aquarium sized cup with vodka. nice. i guess if i want to walk around the house with a bottle of Stoli and straw, no one would be really surprised. it's nice to know i have that kind of freedom.