Tuesday, May 02, 2006

Law & Order, Ebay and Yahoo

how many episodes of Law & Order can you watch in one day? well, i am pretty sure i watched 30 of them last saturday. granted, i slept 10 hours that day and was out running errands for 4 hours, leaving me only 10 hours of tv watching time, but it felt like 30 episodes.

thank god for USA and the TNT Networks. between the 2 of them , i can watch Law & Order (the original), Law & Order SVU and Law & Order Criminal Intent all damn day. and i have. now, before you think me a total slacker, i have watched said episodes whilst knitting. i think i took up knitting to justify my TV watching time. see, i'm not just watching TV, i being productive! i am CREATING things, and i just happen to be satisfying my TV crime show addiction at the same time. if "Cold Case" ever comes out on DVD i am never leaving the house. but i sure will get a lot of knitting done! and god knows i have enough yarn to last me. but the compulsive yarn buying is a whole nother story.

of all of them, Law & Order SVU is my favorite. Christoher Meloni plays Det. Stabler and he is a dedicated cop who sometimes crosses the line, but he does it because he wants to gets the scumbag perps off the streets. a ragtag hero with a heart of gold. but sometimes, that kind of freaks me out. see, Dick Wolf, the mastermind of the Law & Order franchise is also the mastermind behind the now defunct HBO prison series, "Oz." and Dick Wolf likes to use the same actors in all his series. on "Oz" Mr. Meloni played Keller, a mean motherfucker that would not hestitate to anally rape a newbie in the shower and then bash his head in to keep him from squealing. not exactly hero material. sometimes, when watching him play Det. Stabler, i flash back to his days on "Oz" and scream at the tv, "look out! he's got a shiv!" then i realize he is only reaching for his badge. it can be quite the roller coaster ride for me.

whenver i want to watch an episode, i just hop over to Yahoo! TV Listings and check to see what is playing. well, i used to anyway. until a few weeks ago when Yahoo! added that goddamned Bounty commercial to every TV and news page. as i always have my speakers on, i was getting assaulted by that fucking commercial at least 6 times a day. i have switched over to MSN TV Listings. it's a lot quieter. just to be ornery, i now refuse to buy Bounty ever again. the quicker picker upper can bite my ass. it's me and the Brawny guy all the way from now on. TAKE THAT YOU OVERZEALOUS MARKETING MORONS! besides, i think the Brawny guy has nice forearms.

during the commercial breaks, i hop on the lap top and check my ebay bids. this week i have lost 5, yes, count them, FIVE ebay auctions. and why have i lost them? because i refuse to pay retail price for yarn on ebay, that's why! this is a huge pet peeve of mine. to me, ebay is supposed to be like one big yard sale. if it's new you pay more, and if it's used, it better not smell too funky. these people are not running a store, they are not paying employees, workman's comp insurance and a lease. they are selling the stuff out of their basement! and they don't even have to pay a webmaster because ebay does all the work for them! if i am going to pay retail price, i am going to do it at my LYS (that's "local yarn store" for those of my non-fiber obssessed readers). these jerkwads on ebay just piss me off! get a REAL business and i will pay your REAL prices.

speaking of internet shopping, i got a WONDERFUL new perfume today. i ordered it from Sephora and it's called Clean Ultimate. it's a very clean, crisp, springtime scent. i literally cannot stop sniffing myself. gals, get you some. it's good.

see, i can be happy sometimes. it just takes an $80 bottle of perfume to do it. but if my granny asks, we're telling her it only cost $25. she freaks out about stuff like that. i also have her convinced that kate spade purses only cost $30, on sale. sometimes it is just easier to lie than watch her stroke out.